A couple of hypothetical questions:
If your booties are sucked off during your swim and they aren't recovered, what do you do? Is there a grace period so that you can partake of the tradition when new booties are purchased, or must you use the booties that were in use during the swim?
What if you fully intend to partake of the booty tradition, but your idiot kayaking friends did not bring beer to the river (in that case are they actually friends?), how much time can pass before the act booty beering is negated and does not help your river karma? Must you drive like hell to the nearest store and get some beer before the time limit runs out? What if you are in a dry county in North Carolina and the nearest beer store is 80 miles away?
What if none of your paddling partners agree with the booty beer and think it spreads disease and such, but you feel you must right the karma imbalance by having one, but they pitch a total fit that you are going to kill yourself? Is it bad manners to have a booty beer in such company?
What if your booty has holes in it and a lot of beer spills on the ground, does that really count as a booty beer, or is that like sort of having a booty beer?
If you wear socks inside of your booties but your friends don't, do they restore more river karma by bootying than you do?
If you have a gag reflex while bootying and upchuck, does that increase the bad karma more than if you had just not bootied? Or if you gag reflex, but suck it back down and finish the booty, do you gain river godness status?
The only booty I believe in doing belongs to my wife, so I guess I didn't really have a right to ask the above questions. Feel free to flog me next you see me.
Jimmy
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