Are your feet in front of you or behind you?

Some raft guide classics:

 Where are the rocks in the river? 

How deep is the river??  Chest-high on  a duck!

One time after rolling up a raft a customer asked how much it wieghed when it was deflated.  I told him about the same as when it was inflated!!

One time I had a guy asked me if it was a good idea to keep his cell phone in his pocket under his wetsuit!  Then he asked if we are "going IN the river?...

One time a customer on a bald eagle float asked what time we leave the eagles out of their cages in the morning....

You can usually always answer with one of these three replies:

depends on the water level
up around the next bend
5 or 10 minutes




Edited by franzhorner - 10 Dec 2007 at 3:49pm

Also on the flip side, as a raft guide you get to tell all kinds of horrendous lies... and people believe them! For example:

-- Many Wenatchee guides tell their peeps that the aqueduct you see from the  river is an apple juice pipeline

-- Whitewater turns white because the river is creating salt... that is how the ocean's salt gets replenished

-- Rivers run uphill south of the equator

I had a client on six day Salmon trip say he wished that he had his RV to sleep in at night.  When I mentioned that RVs don't float to well he said he would take turns with his wife driving down the road along the river.  I told him there was no road and he got super freaked out for a bit.  This was the third day.  Some are more observant than others.

Jojo, that RV guy is a classic all to himself!

Edited by Kyle K - 10 Dec 2007 at 4:39pm

Do you get wet in your drysuit?

Where do your legs go?

Do you have to flip your paddle to go backwards? 

Ya, even after you tell them you went kayaking they still refer to it as canoing!

Here's a canoe for ya.

Willy-